Tag: motherhood
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The Great Unfurling of Growing Up
Eight years. Eight years since I crossed the holy threshold of birth to become a mother. Dreams brought to life with the great ache of joy; quivering, squeezing, stretching until I emerged as something wholly new, holding someone holy and new. And now, through the creeping crawl of the days and the great strides of…
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What I Learn From My Daughter’s Righteous Rage
My daughter flails on the floor, screaming and crying. Her sister took the toy she wanted to play with and I won’t let her watch a show. She’s been like this for an hour, a fiery fury bursting from within. And with every attempt to soothe or distract or speak logic to her, she responds…
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These Wee Small Years
My feet ran through the thick grass, looking for a place to find cover. “Eighteen, nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!” I heard my oldest daughter call out. As I dove behind a short cypress around the side of the house, I was startled by a flash of red darting from the tree.…
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What If Mothers Just Said No?
What if mothers just said no? What if we decided not to be the ones to carry the heavy burden of the mental load for our families and society at large? What if we set down these invisible responsibilities that weigh us down? Before the weight of it all crushes us. What if we…
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Love and Loss
This morning, as I was baking a cake and doling out spoonfuls of batter to eager little mouths and orchestrating a silly celebration for my younger daughter’s half-birthday, millions of other women were marking this day with much less joyous memories. October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and the entire month of…
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Taking Note from Nature
‘Tis the season for hustle and bustle, for stress and excess. Meanwhile, the natural world quiets, slows down, and turns inward. Meanwhile, bears and bugs hibernate, leaves fall from trees in a not-so-subtle suggestion to let go of that which no longer serves. Meanwhile, our busy bodies fight against their own natural urges. There are…
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My Darlings, I Delight in You
My Darlings, I hope you know, deep in your heart, how much I delight in you. I hope you see it. I hope you see past my tired eyes and my distracted mind. I hope you see the love and pride and joy that resides within those weary eyes. I hope you see how they…
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Home Grown
My younger daughter’s chubby baby fingers dug in the rich, dark soil as my older daughter’s tiny toes balanced carefully on the wooden beam that extended across our small raised garden bed. I sat watching, anxiously, as they crawled and danced and wove between delicate climbing tendrils of a cucumber plant, wide, overpowering leaves of…
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To the Momma Who is Trying Her Best
To the Momma who feels like she’s the only one who doesn’t have this motherhood thing figured out. You are not alone. To the Momma who wanders through the day mopping up messes and wondering what she has accomplished. You have purpose. To the Momma who spent years pursuing education and career goals, only to…
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To My First Baby on Your Fourth Birthday
Dear Sweet Girl, Has it really been four years since you first entered our world? Four years since I held the heavy wetness of your small body against my own? Was it really so long ago that you transformed my entire world and made me a Momma? I can’t believe it. And yet, I can.…
The Small Wanders 